darth vader INtrevista RICHETRE BWELMONT

CPIOAO BUCAOIOLI

sonon rsucito a intrevistare ricCHATAR BLEMORNT, IL PORgamatore del moDLEERL!!!!!!1 e o scoprrto dcelle cose, ma dleele cose.... MANDONNA CEH SCOOP CE OH FATTOT!!!!11

L'intdrnvista è in inglese pehceè cos' fa più l33t; nelee parti in graseeto parlo io e nele altre aprla lui.

HEELO!
WHO ARE YUO AND WHATS DO YUO DO?

I am me, and this is him... we make emulators.

oh no my HUMor deTECTORE 4000 detects a FUNNEY ATTACK OF HUMOR PORPORTIANS! Not anothar funney man intarview liek with dUDEID!!! MAN teh helms, hear coems laughtar/

How did you know we were using that software?

i can detect FAGOTRY from 50000 miles awaey, sir!

Anyway, to answer your question, this is Richter Belmont and Farfetch'd, we make emulators for the PC.

waht emuialtors?
what comapeny?

We're not in a company right now... We are currently working on Modeler, a System32/Model1 emulator.

YEHA!!1 YUo are kewl! you're not liiek those fagots who make mAIME!!!!11

Actually, once the System32 emulation gets good enough, that part of the emulator will become a part of MAME..

AAARRGGHHHH are yuo crazzey?!?!? i saw MAIME ovar at FAlling sotones house and it lookes liEK POOP!!!!1! faaleing stones has a penTUIM 34 at 15000 giggaherts and maime runs spaec-inbvadres at 1 fraem per minute!!!11!1

Don't worry, we'll work on it. And since we're much better at programming than the MAME team, you can be sure our version of MAME will have speed improved for every game!

so now yuo do a SYSTam232 anfd modlae1 enaulator?!

Eventually, yes.

how did yuo gets teh info too maek teh moDELAR emu!?

Our pals at Sega provided us with it.

Did yuo ask nicely and teh SIGA PRESEDent says, "PAINT MY DECK AND IL'L GIVE YUO INFO"?

We put a new roof on his house, actually.

hahahaa, pretty big roof!!! hahaa
haahaha
So he lets yuo maeks teh emualrot. waht featurs wil yuo impleemnt in teh next versiosn?

More colors.

THATS IT?

Uh, more screen resolutions.

oooh, SCREN RESOLUTIANS = gaemplay !!

Oh, and you can choose sound sampling frequency too.

thats good, but wil we be abel too fnnaly playe £3D gaems?

All the 3D features are being kept ultra secret!

NOOOO I WANT AN EXCLUSIVE!!!! I DESERVES IT!

Hum... Let me check with Farfetch'd first.

OKEY, MANEIHWILE ILL LOOKE AT TEH NEKKED PICTARES OF YUOR SISTAR AND JAKC OFF

Come again?.

WHOIOPSE!!!111 i meant ill resuem my worke too tihs 100 giggabyet database im makeing

Okay, I'll pretend I didn't read that.

ALL RIGHETY TEHN, WAHT DOD JIGLEPUF SAY?!?!
I MEANTE FRAFECHD

Hold tight, because this is gonna be pretty big!

YEAH my cokc si varey big!1! espacialy aftar i looked at teh pictares of yuor sistar!!!11!!\\1!\|
hahaha

Hey, do you want the exclusive or not?

wopas sorrey
i was joeking
i dont evan knoew if yuo hav a stistre or not

OK, the exclusive is... we're going to have full 3D emulation for Model 1, Model 1.5 and Model 2!

MODLE 1.5?!?!?!?! WATH TEH FUKC IS TAHT FUKKIN FAGOT THING?!?!?!

Think of it as Model 1 with textures. It was a prototype board that never got distributed.

woah!!!!! EXCLUVISSIVE SCOOPS FOR DARTH VADER!!!!!11111!
ARE theare any gaems for modelel 1.5?

Yes, 2 games were made: Damocles and Guardian. They used to be kept in a secret directory in the Sega site, but they were removed since a hacker attacked them last year.

OH YEAERH I knowq taht for shure, and dont aska whye!!11
as teh nexkst quetion: do yuo hav aney sistar or brotar?

I have a little brother: he'll be 13 in a month and he's the beta tester of Modeler!

hes 12 yaers old and allradey a beta testre?!?!?
are yuo shure yuo diddant mean 31 liek smartey man duiddei?!??!

I meant what I typed: he'll be thirteen in a month. And he's a beta tester because I started to teach him programming as soon as he learned to read.

oh tahts cute, rICKTAR ANd his littel brotar programing togetar!!11
doo yuo haev aney pictares of huim?!?!
i?d prefer nekked onez

Yes, I have.
BUT... If you want me to exchange that kind of pictures with you, we'll have to meet in person. No exchanges via the Net.

HEY HEY HEY HEAR COMES A GOOD SUERPRIEZ!!11
YUO'R A BO7YLOVAR!!11
LIEK ME!!1!1
CAN YUO PLEZ SEND ME A PICTARE OF YUOR BROTAR?!?!?! I ALLRAEDEY HAEV A BONAR!!!111!1

Okay, here comes a picture of Vincent "Sniv" Belmont in all his beauty.

ggGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR WHO TEH FUKC ARE YUO TRIYUNG TOO FUOOL YUO FAGOT?!?!?!
TAHT ISENT YUOR BRHOTAR!!!!!!111!
MABEY YUO DONT EVAN HAEV A BROTRE!!11

Yes, he's my brother, what are you saying?

liear
LAIAR
i happan too be itailian anfd i knwow that kids naeM SI MICKI CADEDUEUdu and plaiz a partt in teh italian fictian uN MEDOICO IN FAIMIHGLIA
ANdf i reaD NILKAS ANDF FRINESD ANd i know taht vinCEHT SNIV si teh name of one of teh charectors!!!111!11!!!!1

Okay, I admit it, I read that comic and I got that photo from my Pre-Teen Celebrities CD, volume 1.

doo yuo relly haev vomume 1 of it?!?! i haev voulume 2, we can maek exkchange!!!1

Sure thing, Darth!

HEAY RICKTAR, ANOTATR THINHG

What?

I HAppan too haev h@x0red a ckzekch boylovar siet and i fuond a secrate driectorey with teh hottetstts pictares1111! IF I GIve yuo those pictrues, wil yuo give me teh nEW MODELAERR BEta?!?!?!

Yeah, I'll send you it immediately! See you soon!